~The Big Picture~

Recently I received a couple of emails from some moms  that were having difficulties with their little ones.  One was having trouble with her son who was lying and the other mom was struggling with her daughter’s disrespectful words.  I responded to both of them very similarly, advising them to respond with some sort of discipline.  My problem was that I gave very simplistic answers to their questions.  After thinking about their situations in more depth, I felt lead to write this post.

I thought I’d use this blog post to address, “The Big Picture”.  By stepping away from a very specific situation and looking at some parenting goals, my desire is that it will be easier for you moms to use the bigger picture to help guide you through the daily difficulties that you are going through in training your children up “in the way they should go.”

The most important goal for Todd and I was, and still is, to raise wise children.  Proverbs 2 lays out “Big Picture” and the importance and benefits of wisdom:

· “My son, if you receive my words, And treasure my commands within you, So that you incline your ear to wisdom, And apply your heart to understanding; Yes, if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding, If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the LORD, And find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; He guards the paths of justice, And preserves the way of His saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice, Equity and every good path. When wisdom enters your heart, And knowledge is pleasant to your soul, Discretion will preserve you; Understanding will keep you, To deliver you from the way of evil, From the man who speaks perverse things, From those who leave the paths of uprightness To walk in the ways of darkness; Who rejoice in doing evil, And delight in the perversity of the wicked; Whose ways are crooked, And who are devious in their paths; To deliver you from the immoral woman, From the seductress who flatters with her words, Who forsakes the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God. For her house leads down to death, And her paths to the dead; None who go to her return, Nor do they regain the paths of life—So you may walk in the way of goodness, And keep to the paths of righteousness. For the upright will dwell in the land, And the blameless will remain in it; But the wicked will be cut off from the earth, And the unfaithful will be uprooted from it. “  (Pro 2:1-22)

This first part of this proverb stresses the importance of seeking after wisdom.  There are many verbs used here to emphasize this; “apply , cry, lift, seek, search, etc.”  The vision God lays out for us is not one of easy answers (like I gave to these young moms), but of searching and trusting the Lord.

Next,  the benefit of your seeking:  “Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, and find the  knowledge of God”.  Over and over again in Scripture “the fear of the Lord” is said to be the “beginning of wisdom”.  So, part of our “Big Picture” is teaching our children the fear of the Lord.  The best way to do this is to simply teach them the Word of God.  In it are many stories and examples of what it means to fear God, the benefits of doing so, and the detriment of not doing so.  The fear of the Lord is the only fear God condones.  Over and over again in Scripture we are told not to fear (man, tribulation, etc.), however we ARE told to fear Him and Him alone.

Proverbs 2:6 tells us the true source of wisdom:. 

“ For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.”

God is the only source of wisdom and understanding.  Another part of our “Big Picture” is leading and teaching our children to have a relationship with the Lord.  The most effective way to do this is by modeling it your own life.  If your children see you in God’s Word, going to Him in prayer for wisdom, having alone time with Him, etc. they will understand what a relationship with the Lord “looks like.”  We can then carry this same relationship in to their lives by praying with them, reading His Word to them, challenging them to go the Lord for wisdom, etc.

We then see the benefits of wisdom:

“He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; He guards the paths of justice, And preserves the way of His saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice, Equity and every good path. When wisdom enters your heart, And knowledge is pleasant to your soul, Discretion will preserve you; Understanding will keep you, To deliver you from the way of evil, From the man who speaks perverse things, From those who leave the paths of uprightness To walk in the ways of darkness; Who rejoice in doing evil, And delight in the perversity of the wicked; Whose ways are crooked, And who are devious in their paths; To deliver you from the immoral woman, From the seductress who flatters with her words…”

Isn’t this what we all want for our children?  To be shielded, guarded and preserved by God Himself?  To  “deliver you from the way of evil, From the man who speaks perverse things, From those who leave the paths of uprightness To walk in the ways of darkness; ...To deliver you from the immoral woman, From the seductress who flatters with her words…”

Finally, this proverb tells of the consequences  of following God versus following the ways of the world:

“So you may walk in the way of goodness, And keep to the paths of righteousness. For the upright will dwell in the land, And the blameless will remain in it; But the wicked will be cut off from the earth, And the unfaithful will be uprooted from it. “ 

This one proverb is a wonderful guide, a  model of the “Big Picture”.  By following  God’s ways and His Word, you will find the  answers to how to raise  your children to know and love Him, the source of all wisdom and understanding.  And, to the two young moms that I gave simplistic answers to, please forgive me.  I am learning right along side of you.  :-)