In
all of life I find that God calls us to a balanced life. On one hand, God disciplines us:
- “For whom the LORD loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.” (Pro 3:12)
But
on the other hand, He also shows us mercy:
- “For He says to Moses, "I WILL HAVE MERCY ON WHOMEVER I WILL HAVE MERCY, AND I WILL HAVE COMPASSION ON WHOMEVER I WILL HAVE COMPASSION." (Rom 9:15)
These two things are not mutually exclusive because God is showing us mercy WHILE disciplining us. However, God
knows us each individually and He knows exactly what we need to draw us closer
to Him and to bring glory to His name.
As
mothers, we can follow God’s example in having balance in our relationship with
our children, particularly in the area of discipline. For example, don’t you
find that some children need more discipline than others? Don’t we all have a child or children who may need to be disciplined several times for the same thing? While another child, when you just look at them they straighten up and behave as they ought to and
do the right thing?
As
a child, I always thought my parents showed favoritism to one of my brothers . I didn’t think that my parents
spanked him as much as they did me, but that he deserved to be spanked just as
much (if not more!) than I did. Now as
an adult, I look back and see that I needed every spanking that I received (and
probably more!) and that my brother really didn’t need the spankings as much to
motivate him to do the right thing. I
see now that my heart was much more rebellious than his and that my perspective
as a child was very skewed by my pride and immaturity.
Many
moms I speak to talk about this struggle and how they feel guilty for treating
their children differently, while at the same time acknowledging that their
children’s temperaments are different.
The Scripture from Romans gives us wonderful direction. God does not explain His reasons for showing
mercy toward one person over another; He just tells us that He does it. I believe this is because God knows our very frame and He understands what we each need as individuals. When my children ask me about why I treat one
child differently than another, I just explain to them that as parents, we are
seeking wisdom from God to “train them up in the way they should go,” and that
they are all individuals, unique in their personalities, so we don’t treat them
all the same. Sometimes that may appear
like we are showing favoritism, but we truly are not. I use the Scriptures to show them that this
is how God treats us as well.
Finally,
our whole goal as moms should be to point our children to our precious
Savior. Showing them mercy is just one
of the many ways that we can point them to Him.
- “But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” (Eph 2:4-7)
